Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve overheard several conversations, and in my head is what I want to say.

Overheard while walking in Riverside Park:  “Yeah, I exercise.  I go up that damn big-ass hill every day.  Then I sit on the bench, have a smoke, and walk back down.”

To which I wanted to say: “Yeah, how’s that working for you?”

Overheard while at the Union Station metro card machines: (And the woman was barking- the poster child for defining barking – to her husband) “Did you PAY with a credit card? Did you? Did you!?! Are you even listening to me? Why aren’t you fucking listening to me?)

To which I wanted to say: “You know it’s only a metro card, right?”

Heard while on the metro at Union Station and my suitcase accidentally rolled away from me as the train stopped:  “You know you have to hold on to your suitcase!”

To which I wanted to say: “You think?”

Overheard while at a diner on the upper west side:

Lady #1:  “Well, remember she was dating that Chinese man.”

Lady #2: “ I thought he was Colombian.”

Lady #1: “No, no, he was Filipino.”

Lady #2:  “Oh, well, she suffered!”

To which I wanted to say: “WTF?!!