Yes, it’s true – so this post may be to no one.  How sad.

And, a great time to post on a fun topic…one person’s perseverance is another’s cyber stalker.  I blame my boss on this one.  Approaching the new year, we discussed dating sites.  She told me about a freebie site, and I thought Ok it’s a new year, a new city, maybe it’s time to try a new relationship.

Step one.  I added signing up to the site to my ‘to do’ list over New Years weekend.  Nice.

Step two.  Actually signing up.  This involved some extra oxygen, panicked calls to a friend in Iowa, and a little or a lot of wine… quantities of wine being relative.

Step three. Results!  Within an hour of signing up I had my first message.  Who-hoo, I thought.  Then I read the message.  Evidently, I’m very attractive to a grammatically incompetent 28-year-old who is going into law enforcement and wrote me, “Your pretty.”  This was followed in quick succession by a series of potential or actual serial killer looking men. 

Step four. Ignoring the cyber stalker, Keith .  I was tempted to reply to the second email that alternated between criticizing my lack of response and letting me know what I was missing out on.  Yeah, missing out on a crazy dude who looks like a 70-year-old guido in a velour v-neck sweater who then began trying to instant message me if I happened to be on the site at the same time as him.  As I mentioned, I was tempted to respond with the suggestion that insulting a girl isn’t the way to get a response, much less a date.  Too much time wasted.

Step five.  Move from online chat to a phone call.  This move also involved a session of hyperventilation followed by anxiety ridden calls to my friend in Iowa.  Finally, I was brave enough to answer the phone – after signing up for a Google Voice number so that my number can be changed at the flash of a cursor.  For a while (i.e. many minutes on the phone), it was fun, but as all good things must come to an end, so did my foray with a guy who turned out to be a conservative wolf in sheep’s clothing who moonlighted as a misogynist.  OK… this whole online dating scene is losing its appeal.

Step six.  Talk to several friends, drink several glasses of wine, and hear many stories of how it took everyone several chat attempts before they found someone normal.  Well, I guess if it saves me from mystery dates at Starbucks or paying for speed dating rounds… at least I will be entertained. 

Step seven.  Say, ‘Screw it!’ and head out to the bar with friends for a great night.

As ever,

K. Quinn