Throughout magazines, TV, and film, New York City is touted as one of THE fashion meccas.   The destination place for fabulous clothes, models, designers, etc.

So it is with a sort of perverse fascination that I enjoy watching the populous who throw caution to the wind and boldly head out the door wearing what I can only assume is what they think looks good.  The subway happens to be one of the best places for this type of sinful catwalk, although I admit to seeing my fair share of fashion faux pas on the streets where I live, college campuses, and guaranteed at most tourist destinations.
An interesting trend among the fashion depleted is the wearing of big bedroom slippers.  By big I don’t actually mean shoe size.  I mean the big in the sense of clown shoe attraction with ears, flowers, teeth, and other cartoon characteristics sticking off of their slippers.  Most commonly seen on the local 1 train, I have managed large slipper sightings from Harlem to Times Square.

A borderline fashion disaster is the skinny jeans meets cropped pants look that many men are sporting on the way to work.  I get that this is the fashion right now, sort of… but as with all things fashion, I think you need to be able to take honest stock in yourself prior to attempting a certain look.  If you are sporting a muffin top, then pale pink skinny cropped pants with black loafers and a very thin, very tight white v-neck tee isn’t your look.  I promise you.  I did enjoy the man with the pink skinny cropped pants and kelly green blazer – as sort of a flashback to my high school’s preppie era.  Yes, I know, that dates me.

The sausage casing dresses are another mystery to me. At what point in your mental stability does it register that wearing a dress that not only illustrates but seems to accentuate your lumpy bits as well as the underclothes you wear is a good idea?  I really don’t need to see your boy briefs in outline detail and the stretch marks.  Frankly, I don’t need to see my own much less yours.  The dress may seem comfortable, but if you bought it in a size or two larger it might even fit that much better.  And, for heaven’s sake, if you are going to wear a pale color, don’t dress it up with dark underwear.  I actually don’t mind this in other clothing…although it is sort of passé, but DON’T do it with your cotton knit, super tight dress – especially if you are not in the vicinity of a club or bar and it is before 10PM.

Hairstyles- wow.  I would have a hard time guessing what year we are in by looking solely at hair styles.  Given the volume of disasters in this category, let me limit it to one observation.  I have never, in my life, been confronted with so many wig-wearers.  This wouldn’t really register with me except… and this is a big EXCEPT… so many of the wigs are ridiculously bad.  Bad as in… it’s never been brushed since it left the store; it’s never seen shampoo or water EVER; it’s acrylic so maybe applying that flat iron was a bad idea as was keeping and wearing the wig after the incident; seriously, you bought dreadlocks; did you try on the wig before you bought it because it doesn’t seem to fit your head – too big, too small; and, wow, that really is a helmet!

I now have the daunting task of figuring out what I shall wear today.  The good news is- clearly anything goes.  The bad news – I’m still painfully aware of what does and does not pass for acceptable for me… always my harshest critic.

As ever,

K. Quinn