in most issues with my background check application.  Congratulations to me!

Let me preface this with the instructions included helpful directions such as:

List every residence over the past 28 years.

Seriously?  I have lived in 5 different states and 2 different countries, not counting the several months of house-sitting.  I don’t remember this stuff… and 28 years ago, I think I was in junior high… ach!

Only include residence locations of 6 months or more.

Ok, that helps…except!!!! My colleague was then given oral directions that the dates for each residence must overlap by a date because a criminal act can occur in just seconds.  Right, but not under six months.  Um, confusion?  So basically you want me to lie on my application?  At the end it says I have to legally swear all the information is accurate, and it is witnessed.  Um, more confusion.

So now, I want to add in every single address so that some poor person has to type in all this information.  That was until I learned that the form actually goes to some other office because the actual process of doing my background check is outsourced to several government agencies.  Ok… well, I don’t want to give them more work.

I am awaiting the next rejection of my application… which is making me feel criminal since I can’t competently fill out a bureaucratic form correctly.  Ugh!

Another sad note… my colleague explained that part of the reason for me holding the record on issues with the application is because all of our volunteers and many of my colleagues aren’t even 28… so they haven’t had to deal with that many residences.  Ouch!

As ever,

K. Quinn