Apathy:  The fact the my running schedule has slipped to a sad shell of a schedule.  I end up running once a week and walking once a week.  I am not counting when I walk Verbal – he is a senior dog with a gimpy leg – distance and speed are not part of our vocabulary.

Always frustrating to get back in the swing of things.  So today, I was determined to push myself and yet still maintain my Zen version of running: running when my body feels like it and walking when it feels like it.  So I ran 75% of a 4.5 mile run.  And, I was determined to be OK with it.  So, I started at a walk, pushed to a run, and then when the hills got too steep, I slowed to a walk.  I am a slow runner to begin with so keeping it down to a 12 minute mile despite the walking made ma pretty satisfied.

When returning to running, you tend to forget the feeling that takes over when you are running regularly.  That feeling of calm and steady energy, it keeps you moving.  It allows you to breathe regularly, and you can even push your speed while feeling energized.  Unfortunately, when you start to run after a break, that feeling has all but disappeared as has the memory of it.  Your muscles feel heavy and soft.  Mentally, your head is telling you to quit.  Your body is shouting at you to quit.  And, you pray for that feeling of endurance to return soon.

Annoyance:  I am linked to a millionaire on Facebook.  Perhaps, I know more than one – don’t know for sure.  But today this person’s post was a photo of a tropical destination, and a note, “Living the dream.”  And, I am annoyed.

If it had been one of my hard-working friends who aren’t as rich monetarily as they are in love, friendship, and integrity, I would love to see that post.  I would think, “Good for them.”  But to have this person, who appears to have perfected the art of marrying well and lacks in the arts of selflessness and true kindness, post this message.  It irritates me.  Yes,  you are fabulously wealthy and can live in your many lavish houses in exotic destinations…. but it smacks of rubbing it in to post that you are living a dream that is unattainable by most.  Bully for you.  The self-indulgent and much self loved one percent.

Lest we think that I am just sour grapes and envious of this one, one percenter.  Think again.  I wouldn’t want to trade places with this person.  I am grateful for my friends and family and definitely consider these riches beyond compare.  Of course, as I discussed with my family last night, if I had won the mega lottery last night, I would have indulged with a cruise to Antarctica for the family.  And, then sent some anonymous bank orders to friends and families.  And, then I would have enjoyed some major philanthropic spending.  And,  I would also invest in some education for myself and a certain group of teens.  Hmmmm.  Aah well, I would have had to buy a ticket to even stand a chance.

Well, I guess that would be living a dream.

As ever,

K. Quinn